(This is a temporary whine. I will delete it when I'm feeling better.)
The woman that I married ...
I wish she would hold onto a hug for longer than a few seconds. I'm not just a social acquaintance.
I wish she would reach out and pull me in for another hug, as if one wasn't enough.
I wish she would spontaneously kiss me, instead of just accepting my kisses all the time.
And if not that, then I wish I could stop trying to kiss her.
I wish she would come and snuggle up to me on the couch and say "whatcha doin'?" instead of spending all evening on the phone or disappearing into her craft room until one or both of us goes to bed.
I wish she would go to bed at the same time as me, and fall asleep drooling on my shoulder.
I wish she would really listen to me when I talked, and not argue, or put me down, or correct me, or give me advice, or mostly ignore me.
I wish she would tell me she loved me.
I wish I knew what I had done, all those years ago, to make her act this way.
I wish I knew a way to undo whatever it was that I did.
I wish I had never gotten married.
I wish that, rather than hide my pain, or choke it down, I could just make it go away. I wish I didn't need the love of a woman in my life, as achingly badly as I do.
